so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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