exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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