I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
