I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
