The maid of honor just puked.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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