We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
