Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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