We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
