How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
