Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
