I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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