i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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