well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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