elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
