guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
