I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
