sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
