my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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