highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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