before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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