I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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