There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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