Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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