I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
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