Having a random hookup so left but love u
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
