I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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