I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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