dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
