i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
