Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am spending my child support on dildos
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
