he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
