She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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