I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
