I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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