Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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