you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
