you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
