I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
