I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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