Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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