He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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