I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
