All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
