You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
