CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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