He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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