this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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