I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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