I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
