what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
