I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
